Monday, May 2, 2011

Short Story Draft

Leo uncovered himself from under his Green Packer blankets. He slowly reached over to his phone and rubbed his eyes as soon as he pressed the unlock screen button. He as usual woke up a few minutes before his alarm went off. Deciding to appreciate those next few minutes he hid again.
The alarm went off and his daily routine was about to begin. He woke up got his green towel and went downstairs to shower. Leo knew that today would be like an ordinary day, but he has known to come to appreciate any sort of nature or human capability. It started early and even though he saw basically the same things every morning he always had new things to think about.
This morning his phone caught his attention. As he continued to text some his friends he wondered how it all worked. How the applications existed and how the internet worked crossed his mind, but thoughts that he had had before gave him the answers. He knew enough about science to know the basics of how everything could be possible. He asks few questions to others about his thoughts and usually he just thinks them through.
At school he is always with somebody and is friendly with everyone. He still has some thoughts but only due to the fact that he can not ignore his surroundings. He does think about others, but mostly he compares them to himself and how he can do better or might already be better then them. His goals in life are not to be better just to be happy and he does not believe it is all based on hard work and that is why he encourages himself to try anything he wants to and to forget about things unless they matter to him and his happiness.
Leo comes home right after school every day unless there is something else he can do preferably with friends that makes him happier. He eats a snack and usually dozes off to music on his bed. He then has no plans, yet he always has something to do and or someone invites him to do something. He can take his time in anything he does, usually for the same reason of thoughts.
After the day is done he concludes it with television to wash out all thoughts. There is days like today where he instead stays up thinking. He thinks not about tomorrow or about the days before. He only goes as far back as the morning.

4 comments:

  1. It's short but its a really interesting story. I like that he can find ways to appreciate things in everyday life, and figures things out by himself.

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  2. just because it sounds better: make it "Green Bay Packers" as opposed to Green Packer.
    There's a lot of "He this" & "He that" Try to find a better, more creative way of being able to say what "He did."
    I know what you mean by "appreciate any sort of nature or human capability" but it seems a little confusing.
    "but thoughts that he had had before gave him the answers" this confuses me.
    I like the theme you have in hear describing Leo & following his daily routine, but once more, try to find a more creative way to describe whatg he did instead of continuslly say "He did this"or "He did that"

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  3. "those next few minutes he hid again" a little confusing.

    "Leo knew that today would be like an ordinary day" Leo knew that today was just going to be another ordinary day.

    "As he continued to text some his friends" As he continued to text some of his friends

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  4. I like your description, but to me, its kinda boring cause there is nothing extrordinary happining. Overall, its pretty good.

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